There are days where the world is hell bent on ruining everything you try to do. Be it a simple task like driving to the grocery store, or simply returning an item. Thankfully, these days are not as common as people like to portray. But when they do happen, those days hit you pretty hard.
I'm pretty sure one day of my life in summer was turned into another terrible Chuck Lorre sitcom with laugh track included. Starring a silly girl who is not aware of anything in her immediate area and obnoxious situations that keep being hurled at her.
Besides working at my college cafeteria and spilling various rotten liquids on myself; I spent most of my free time in the summer of 2013 playing the Mass Effect series (...and consequently fell in love with a space turtle...)
I finally finished the second game and desperately needed to get the third one in order to save the damned galaxy. I drove out to my local GameStop (the only video game store in a hundred mile radius I might add...) and searched for the femshep cover. After the long search, I finally found my jewel. The strong and beautiful red-head that I yearned to be stood triumphantly on a burning earth. I happily skipped to the front desk and purchased this amazing game.
Enthused that I finally had the key to destroying the Reapers, I made my way home with only one thought in my mind, "If I don't play this game right now I might actually die." I flew into my apartment, startling my poor roommate, and proudly presented my treasure. "Look at this bad ass space girl and her cool armor. Look at her." My roommate squinted her eyes in confusion, "That's a dude." Upon my realization, horror struck. John Shepard and his smug face were staring right back at me.
I distinctly remembering sighing so loudly that her cat woke up from his nap and stared at me disapprovingly. I could feel the judgement in his eyes, "Get over it, drama queen."
I resolved to go back to GameStop to get the cover I so desperately needed. I climbed into my rusty, old clanker and headed back out. I really did not expect the next series of events to happen...
I headed down the barren road to GameStop with my windows down and without a care in the world. Summer time is my absolute favorite time of the year, so I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have to the road. Out of nowhere, a car turned into my lane. This is a two lane road with only a turning lane in the middle from time to time. I had no idea what this person was thinking, their car was headed straight for mine. I punched the horn hoping the driver would move before it was too late. Luckily, he did. I looked as he passed by, a little old man angrily flipped me off.
I stopped at boyfriend's apartment still shaken up from what had happened. Six months before that I had gotten into my first car accident and my car was totaled by a dumb teenage boy. So, I was reasonably on edge. I pull into his complex and waited for him to come out so we could get to GameStop before it closed for the night. As I waited, I began to fumble with some things in my car. I heard a really strange buzzing sound coming from my cup holder, "What in the hell..." I moved the various fast food receipts out of the cup holder to reveal a fucking bee just laying in wait. I think my scream shattered a few windows nearby. I immediately reached for my door handle and jumped out, nearly breaking my nose trying to get out of my car. I loathe bees. But this wasn't just a bee, it was a damn wasp. Boyfriend had just witnessed the scene unfold in front of him.
"Um...What's going on?"
I whirled around, shouting "BEE IN MY FUCKING CAR. GET IT OUT. AHHHHH."
"Nope. I might be allergic to bees. You get it."
"You're useless."
I kept my sun roof open all summer; the wasp must have fallen in while parked. It didn't move too much so I assumed it was hurt. I gave myself a pep-talk and grabbed a piece of paper from inside the apartment. I bravely flung the wasp (gently) out of my car. I felt bad, but not bad enough to allow myself to be stung.
Finally, after clearing my car of terrifying bugs and other weird creatures I dragged boyfriend along with me to GameStop. His apartment was right across the street from the store. I pulled into the parking lot, laughing about the rogue wasp in my car. I stepped out of my car and looked over at boyfriend over the top of my car. My eyes fell upon my cell phone sitting right on the roof. In the midst of the terrifying battle with the wasp I left my phone on top of my car. I couldn't believe I left it on top of my car and it survived! I started laughing again, baffled by my own idiocy. We walked into GameStop determined to get my FemShep cover. I walked up to the desk, confident in my stride and appearance, and asked for the female cover.
"You know it flips around, right?"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me."
And thus; I was almost killed by an angry old man who couldn't drive, nearly stabbed by a dying wasp, and left my phone atop of a speeding car in about a ten minute span. All so I could get the cover for my favorite video game character/role model/obsession. I could have just stayed at home and flipped the cover around. I stayed in my house for a good week after that.
Besides working at my college cafeteria and spilling various rotten liquids on myself; I spent most of my free time in the summer of 2013 playing the Mass Effect series (...and consequently fell in love with a space turtle...)
 |
| I really wish this were my life |
I finally finished the second game and desperately needed to get the third one in order to save the damned galaxy. I drove out to my local GameStop (the only video game store in a hundred mile radius I might add...) and searched for the femshep cover. After the long search, I finally found my jewel. The strong and beautiful red-head that I yearned to be stood triumphantly on a burning earth. I happily skipped to the front desk and purchased this amazing game.
Enthused that I finally had the key to destroying the Reapers, I made my way home with only one thought in my mind, "If I don't play this game right now I might actually die." I flew into my apartment, startling my poor roommate, and proudly presented my treasure. "Look at this bad ass space girl and her cool armor. Look at her." My roommate squinted her eyes in confusion, "That's a dude." Upon my realization, horror struck. John Shepard and his smug face were staring right back at me.
 |
| You smug bastard. Mocking me... |
I distinctly remembering sighing so loudly that her cat woke up from his nap and stared at me disapprovingly. I could feel the judgement in his eyes, "Get over it, drama queen."
 |
I resolved to go back to GameStop to get the cover I so desperately needed. I climbed into my rusty, old clanker and headed back out. I really did not expect the next series of events to happen...
I headed down the barren road to GameStop with my windows down and without a care in the world. Summer time is my absolute favorite time of the year, so I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have to the road. Out of nowhere, a car turned into my lane. This is a two lane road with only a turning lane in the middle from time to time. I had no idea what this person was thinking, their car was headed straight for mine. I punched the horn hoping the driver would move before it was too late. Luckily, he did. I looked as he passed by, a little old man angrily flipped me off.
 |
| Sorry for saving your life |
I stopped at boyfriend's apartment still shaken up from what had happened. Six months before that I had gotten into my first car accident and my car was totaled by a dumb teenage boy. So, I was reasonably on edge. I pull into his complex and waited for him to come out so we could get to GameStop before it closed for the night. As I waited, I began to fumble with some things in my car. I heard a really strange buzzing sound coming from my cup holder, "What in the hell..." I moved the various fast food receipts out of the cup holder to reveal a fucking bee just laying in wait. I think my scream shattered a few windows nearby. I immediately reached for my door handle and jumped out, nearly breaking my nose trying to get out of my car. I loathe bees. But this wasn't just a bee, it was a damn wasp. Boyfriend had just witnessed the scene unfold in front of him.
"Um...What's going on?"
I whirled around, shouting "BEE IN MY FUCKING CAR. GET IT OUT. AHHHHH."
"Nope. I might be allergic to bees. You get it."
"You're useless."
I kept my sun roof open all summer; the wasp must have fallen in while parked. It didn't move too much so I assumed it was hurt. I gave myself a pep-talk and grabbed a piece of paper from inside the apartment. I bravely flung the wasp (gently) out of my car. I felt bad, but not bad enough to allow myself to be stung.
 |
| I was almost HARPOONED |
Finally, after clearing my car of terrifying bugs and other weird creatures I dragged boyfriend along with me to GameStop. His apartment was right across the street from the store. I pulled into the parking lot, laughing about the rogue wasp in my car. I stepped out of my car and looked over at boyfriend over the top of my car. My eyes fell upon my cell phone sitting right on the roof. In the midst of the terrifying battle with the wasp I left my phone on top of my car. I couldn't believe I left it on top of my car and it survived! I started laughing again, baffled by my own idiocy. We walked into GameStop determined to get my FemShep cover. I walked up to the desk, confident in my stride and appearance, and asked for the female cover.
"You know it flips around, right?"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me."
And thus; I was almost killed by an angry old man who couldn't drive, nearly stabbed by a dying wasp, and left my phone atop of a speeding car in about a ten minute span. All so I could get the cover for my favorite video game character/role model/obsession. I could have just stayed at home and flipped the cover around. I stayed in my house for a good week after that.
 |
| "That bird looked like it was plotting my demise..." "Shut up, human." |
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