As a college student I totally understand the meaning of laziness and comfortability. But sometimes it just gets ridiculous and goes too far. I'm looking forward to seeing these fashion trends around campus this year. (And I hope you do too!)
Camel Toes and Leggings/Jeggings/Beggings/What ever the hell they are
Ladies. Ladies, please. I know how comfortable leggings can be. I wear them under my skirts, my black tunic, and even boy sweatshirts. But I don't wear them with a short tee shirt so all the world can see my hoo-hah. When walking around campus and girls everywhere are wearing leggings, it's like BAM! motha-effen vaginas all up in my face. I can understand why guys enjoy leggings. Our butts look great in them (I love jeggings and yoga pants just because my butt looks fantastical in them.) But I really don't want to be ambushed by vaginas when I'm casually walking to my next class. So instead, let's take camel toe and make it camel whoa. Slap some shiny beads on that shit. Make some cool designs; like a triforce, a lightening bolt, a dragon, a star, whatever you want! Because I'd rather be blinded by shiny beads than camel toes.
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| Damn girl, look at that camel toe |
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| It's dangerous to go alone. Take this... |
Uggs and Shorts: What weather are you preparing for?! (Though in Michigan it might be appropriate...)
Okay seriously, what. What?! Wearing uggs is like strapping sheep to your feet. It's warm, fluffy, and magical. But when you pair them with shorts you just look confused. If it's summer you're probably not wearing socks with them so your feet are probably swimmimg in sweat. Or if it's winter your legs are covered in a sheet of ice. If you want to feel like you have sheep on your feet, then just strap sheep to them. Then you don't even have to walk.
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| Shawty got them boots with tha fur |
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| Seriously. Think about it. |
Pants on the ground, Pants on the ground. Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground.
Pants are tough. I fall on my booty every time I try to put them on in the morning. Sometimes my foot gets stuck in a weird bunched up part and I almost knock myself out on the way down to the floor. But I stick to it and I wear my pants correctly when I leave the house. I guess no one else really understands this. Boys and girls alike can't seem to grasp this concept. I see crack and undies on a daily basis in classrooms. I don't have a solution for this one. I guess we're cursed with it for a while.
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| Oh My God, Becky, look at her butt! |
Drug Rugs and Leather: Exclusively for Hipsters (not Hippies)
This isn't a very common one on campus, but deserves a shout out for being ridiculous. I'm pretty sure most people who wear drug rugs are either huge stoners or huge hippies--basically the same thing. And those who wear leather jackets usually have cool boots, aviator sunglasses, and ride motorcycles. Or is that a stereotype I desperately want to be real? Anyways, pairing the two together makes for an...eh-hem...interesting look. The poor drug rug is trying to escape the death grip of the leather jacket. So fashionable. Another easy solution to this problem; choose one or the other. They'll both keep you warm. Having both might give you heat stroke.
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| Beautiful |
Broshirts: Look at Me, I Work Out. Ladies.
I work at one of the cafeterias on campus. Our policy on dress code is pretty strict. We can't have holes in our pants, no jewlery, no yoga pants/leggings, and boys have to wrap their beards up in a hair net or shave their glorious facial hair. We're so strict we even have a dress code for the customers. So how these guys can just casually walk around in tank tops (too tiny for even me) baffles me. Yes, you have nice pecs. And I'll give you that your abs are almost defined. But I really don't want to see your moobs being flexed in my face when I'm trying to sweep your entire meal off the ground. I saw this one kid nonchalantly swaggering about with what I think was just a stretched out thong around his upper body. Simple solution to this one; put on a shirt. Head on down to your local Target and pick up a soft, cotton t-shirt. I can still see your muscles. Girls will still swoon when you hand them your ID card. I feel that it's awkward that I already know what you look like half-naked without even knowing your name. Call me old fashioned, but I like my men mysterious.
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| Thong-like |
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| Tacos are the only important thing in life |
Bun on the Head: The Highest of Them All
I hate this. I hate this more than anything in the whole world. Life's problems would be fixed if this were not a thing. War would be ended forever if this went away. Jesus would come back for a second time if this never happened. This is a plague on all of humanity. Why? Why?! Why do girls find this hairstyle completely acceptable? It's not cute, it looks like a bird decided to make a nest (violently) out of your hair you while you were merrily on your way to class. It's even worse when girls are in da club and think their hair is too much to handle. So instead they pile it on up and continue to guzzle down their drinks. No. Just no. Stop it. Fortunately, I have an amazing upgrade for this "hair-don't!" (Get it? Get it?! I kill me.) Snowmen. Well, I guess more appropriately, Hairy Snowmen? Hairmen? Flowing-locks-of-gold men? All of those do not sound okay, but that's beside the point. Stack that hair up on your head, but section it off into round pieces. Then apply a top hat clip to the very top of the bun and secure an orange clip for the nose. And voila! Hairy snowman! Now you don't half as ridiculous with that big ol' bun on your head. And you'll be happier. (Because I said so.)
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| She's part giraffe (on her father's side) |
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| There is also a mashed potato version! |
Penis Horse
Just kidding. This is awesome.
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| Courtesy of my friend Kara Cooke. Check her out! |
